How 2020 Enhanced My Self Care
Photo by Annie Spratt
NEW INSIGHTS
Decades ago, I met a few female physicians who became dear friends and mentors. They always declined social invitations. I was concerned, they might suffer from depression? Being an extrovert, I couldn’t understand......Why didn’t they want to socialize?
The pandemic of 2020 has enlightened me in many ways. The one that stands out the most is the sense that I’ve evolved into those female physicians.
I completely understand with great clarity why they treasured their solitude.
I haven’t missed a jam-packed social calendar. Before the pandemic, as social events approached, I often felt a sense of dread, tired from the workweek, longing for downtime. Anxious, guilt-ridden, often upset with myself for accepting invitations.
At the same time, throughout the years, I looked forward to get-togethers. I made myself available, blocked precious time, often only to have others cancel at the last minute.
Can you relate?
Maybe they were tired too?
I love socializing, but 2020 has taught me to establish an uncomplicated life.
Somehow, scheduling and breaking plans can precipitate disappointment, strain relationships, resentments, misunderstandings brew, and dynamics get skewed. Text messages get misconstrued. I haven’t missed any of that unnecessary stress.
TIME FOR YOURSELF
A few years ago, I read my cousin’s post about successfully losing over 100 pounds! I was so intrigued he was able to accomplish this goal.
He said he literally had to change his lifestyle and environment. The commitment and dedication he made to himself resembled those battling alcoholism. The importance of avoiding “Wet faces, Wet places,” their drinking buddies, and the places they drank.
My cousin seemed to take a similar approach regarding weight loss. He is such an inspiration!
When the pandemic began, Optimism was essential! I made lemonade from lemons...I FINALLY had FREE Time! An opportunity to accomplish goals and engage in self-care. As an integrative medicine practitioner focusing on how nutrition impacts our mental health, I devoted this gift of time to living all I’ve learned and taught over the years.
For the first time in my adult life, I prioritized and focused on my health.
LIFESTYLE CHANGES
Meditation each morning, exercise with my phenomenal trainer, and nature as recreation!
Simple pleasures like music, dancing, backgammon, dog walks, and reading brought immense joy!
Meal preparation wasn’t rushed and primal cooking, thanks to a wise health mentor, became a form of therapy. My skin started to look better, my hair felt better, I became stronger and well-rested.
I reflected on the time I had spent working three jobs to put myself through school. My life was consumed with work and studying. Work-life balance suffered for decades. I always loved my work; for me, the problem was where and how I spent my free time! This pandemic has allowed me to pause, notice, and make necessary changes in the allocation of my free time — what a gift!
I think back to my female physician friends and recognize with great clarity, like me, they Loved their work! I admired them for their devotion to patient care. They weren’t anti-social or depressed; they were ON all day! Their free time was sacred, and they spent it in the ways necessary to replenish!
I had clarity surrounding my cousin’s weight loss success! Engaging in solitude and embracing your own company is an act of self-love. Self-love brings peace and builds self-confidence!
As cliche as it is, once the world opens up and returns to some sense of normalcy, I will welcome back some social activities but never without putting on my oxygen mask first!
I’ve learned the decisions we make in our own best interest will, without a doubt, disappoint others, yet it’s imperative to stay true to yourself!
My Mom used to say, “Please Everyone, no one is happy; please Yourself, you’ll be happy.”
My friend Michael told me decades ago, “If you focused as much free time on your own life as you do on the lives of others, the quality of your life would improve.”
Boy, was he ever right!
Hindsight TRULY IS 2020!
We often complicate our lives and succumb to some bizarre unspoken pressure, accommodating the needs and demands of others. With a subtle shift, boundaries for your own self-preservation can be a tremendous game changer!
Just Say No!
Try it. You might like it!
OH HAPPY DAY
In fact, the more you distance, the more you notice. More and more, I reflect on my grandparent’s slower-paced lifestyle, and as I move forward, I intend to recreate a similar experience.
Clarity and introspection have paved the way for a fresh start, a new beginning!
Upon my re-entry, A lovely breathtaking visual of walking into a pop-up storybook! As things reopen one by one, like flowers blooming in Springtime...
Focusing on the breath, noticing mindfully and diligently, making myself the priority.
So much so, realigning work-life balance, allocating time like slices of pie.🥧
Self-care becoming half of the pie, work a quarter of the pie, the other quarter...time with loved ones, living life to its fullest!
That said, this will likely be my last blog for quite some time. I’m off to have some fun. 😁
Be True to You
Live this Life
Less is More
Just Say No:)
Be well, Stay safe,
Marla, xo